FIRST BABY, ADVICE ABOUT HAVING A BABY, BRINGING UP BABY

First baby, advice about having a baby, bringing up baby and the parenting skills needed to deal with toddler tantrums and potty training

Let's face it, you only have 2 hands. And most families will admit - three children is often one too many. Unless you have help in some form - nanny share, live in, parents round the corner, how will you manage?

Something will give and usually it is the husband. Has anyone analysed the difference for divorced couples on the basis of how many children they have? I'm sure those with 3 will have an edge on those with one or two. The mothers of 3 certainly look more dishevelled and harassed.

Start of article on parenting advice.

Previous page about giving birth.

The first baby is like a learning curve. This is a very emotional time, sacred, unknown and filled with a huge responsibility you cannot walk away from. It takes quite a bit of acclimatising. These days seem long, time drags, breastfeeding is very draining. It may surprise you to see the macho man you married, melt to puppy status when his child is in his arms. Yes, men do love their babies too.

And the baby now dictates your life without saying anything.

The second baby you seem more in control with, even at ease with. More enjoyable, as you have reached the phase where there may be nothing else to give up. No resentment is felt, pregnancy easier, everything is wonderful. You smile through the birth and laugh with the gas and air.

The third - oh dear, trouble sometimes comes in three's. This you will expect to be like the 2nd. Sorry - actually by now you have run out of limbs, time, energy, money, and sadly, enthusiasm for your partner.

BRINGING UP BABY

Now the baby and often the 'sickly one' of the brood, sometimes the 'whinge' trying to be heard. Many things give - and the house looks a tip. Where did all that washing and ironing come from? And the arguments and noise, oh for some peace and quiet.

Of course if you are rich you can hire the help, so carry on producing the darlings. But remember to love them all and give them equal attention.

What we can reassure you, is the love you feel for your babe will be like nothing you have ever experienced, and yes there'll be plenty of walks in the park. Sometimes in the rain to get out of the house. Many times in the sun, with a picnic, bat and ball. A 30p bottle of bubbles will give you all as much enjoyment as a games console. The fresh air will do wonders for your health - and it's free so even better for the stretched funds.

If pennies are really tight cut back on expensive toys and make do. You are already saving the cereal and yoghurt cartons for the recycling bank, let your child play 'shops' with them first - empty and cleaned, of course. Encourage friends to play - one sheet and a bag of pegs and they have 'Homefest 08' right in the middle of your sitting room!

Bringing up baby

First baby, advice about having a baby, bringing up baby and the parenting skills needed to deal with toddler tantrums and potty training