PUB QUIZ QUESTIONS, QUOTATIONS, WHO SAID

1. Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It's cheaper.
   Quentin Crisp b Christmas Day 1908. Author of The Naked Civil Servant, he described himself as one of the stately homos of England
   
   
2. If you can't get a job as a pianist in a brothel you become a royal reporter.
   Max Hastings b 1945. Journalist editor historian and author. During the Falklands War, the first man with British forces into Port Stanley Port Stanley
   
   
3. Ally McLeod thinks tactics are new kind of mint.
   Billy Connolly comedian b Glasgow. Was a welder in a shipyard and a member of the TA's Parachute Regiment (Ally McLeod Scottish and Scotland football manager)
   
   
4. Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
   George Bernard Shaw Anglo-Irish playwright b 1856 also essayist novelist and at one time music critic
   
   
5. On the subject of Arianna Stassinopoulos: So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
   Alan Bennett author and actor of boyish appearance and with a sonorous Yorkshire accent
   
   
6. I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though.
   Elton John Flamboyant rock/pop singer composer pianist over five decades not his own name
   
   
7. I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.
   Ken Dodd b 1927 outskirts of Liverpool. Played Yorrick in Kenneth Branagh's film of Hamlet
   
   
8. I speak Esperanto like a native.
   Spike Milligan professional funny man b 1918 India to Irish father in British army - so no British passport even though he served in army in WW2
   
   
9. For a long time I thought coq au vin meant love in a lorry.
   Victoria Wood b Ramsbottom 1953 top sitcom writer also plays piano and sings
   
   
10. I hate people who take drugs…like customs officers.
    Jack Dee Stand-up b 1962 the face of John Smith's bitter
    
    
11. The Oxford rowing crew - eight minds with but a single thought, if that.
    Max Beerbohm b 1872 English parodist and caricaturist also drama critic