ONLINE DATING FIRST DATES
Advice, tips and information for males. Safety advice on meeting women you have met online. Please feel free to explore this dating site and take onboard our advice and information.
Online dating is great fun but just because you are a man, don't think you are not vulnerable to dating scammers, female Internet predators and the possibility of being accused of rape.
- Read our safety tips, protection and scams sections. You will find the information invaluable.
- Always provide your home telephone number and if applicable, a work number too and ask your date to call you to confirm your date. This confirms who you are and that you are not trying to hide your identity. Also provide your mobile number as well in case of emergencies.
- Follow our protocols by arranging to meet your date in a busy place that she is familiar with.
- Providing you have been honest in your profile, the person you are meeting has agreed to a date because they like the way you look, like your profile and if you have spoken online or on the telephone, they like the way you sound.
- Try and make your first meeting a lunchtime rendez-vous. This allows both parties an exit time frame to get back to work or pick up the children. Lunchtimes are also more relaxed, less pressurised, less expensive and you get to meet someone under more normal circumstances.
- What you wear says a lot about you. You can be sexy and masculine without dressing up as the dogs dinner. Wear something that is comfortable but makes you feel good about yourself. Ask a female friend for advice.
- The woman you are meeting is most likely going to be nervous. Will you like her? Will she get tongue tied? Does she look OK? Will you find her attractive? Will you show up?
- Memorise her profile or take it with you, so that you can ask the right questions and discuss her interests. If it says she likes travel, ask her where she has been and ask her questions about the places she has visited. This is a great way to get to know the person, as they should be in their comfort zone. It is also a good way to find out if they have exaggerated or lied and if they have; what else have they lied about.
- At some point, if you like her, you may want to ask her out for a second date. Custom normally decrees that the man should do the asking, so the ball is in your court. However, have you received any signals that lead you to believe that she would like to meet you again.
- She might have mentioned she likes a certain type of food or film genre and you can ask her if she has tried a certain restaurant or seen a film that is currently showing. This can provide you with the opportunity to ask her out for a second date.
- Let's face it. Most men are dreadful at reading feminine signs. Has she laughed at your jokes? Has she flattered you in any way? Have you discovered any common ground or interests? Has she leaned forward and made eye contact with you when speaking?
- If you are uncertain about how the date has gone and don't like the idea of being rejected, you can put the ball in her court by saying. "I've enjoyed your company and would like to see you again and rather than put us both in an embarrassing situation, can I ask you to give me a call later today so we can arrange going out for a meal or seeing that film you said you liked?"
- This will make your date feel more comfortable and in control. She may ask to organise the date there and then. She may choose to ring you later or she may not ring. If it is the latter, don't take it personally, move on and arrange more dates.
- If, on the other hand, you do not feel comfortable with your date, don't do any of the above.
- Arrange for a colleague to ring you on your mobile within 20 minutes of your date starting and tell you that you are needed back at work or some other excuse. If the date is not going as planned and you can make your excuses and leave. If things are going well, you can tell your colleague that the problem can wait until you get back.
- Your date will most likely realise that this is prearranged but it allows them the grace to save face or will give your date a clear indication that you are interested in her.
DEALING WITH REJECTION
- We have all suffered rejection in the past and it didn't kill us. In fact, whilst you are reading this, thousands of people are being told by their partners that they "want a divorce" or they "have met someone new" or they are "moving out".
- At the same time, thousands of people are meeting the new love of their life and wondering what they saw in the last girl in the first place. The fact is, we all move on to better things.
- If you don't get that second or third call, don't take it personally. We all meet people that we are not attracted to or even take an instant dislike to. They might be the nicest person in the world, but something in their chemistry doesn't sit right with us.
- It's not the first time and it won't be your last, but the next girl will be different.
- Have a laugh about it, look forward to the next new date and keep your self esteem up by focusing on your positive attributes.
- Women love men that come in all shapes and sizes, tall, short, slim, fat and men with different personalities, clever, witty, quiet, strong and calm. So long as you fit one of these descriptions, you will find someone who is just looking for someone to love and will love her in return.
- So whilst you are looking, just enjoy yourself.
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