DATE RAPE
Help and advice on how to avoid date rape and how to avoid being wrongfully accused of date rape. Read our safety tips, protection and Scams sections.
ADVICE FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN ABOUT DATE RAPE
When you first start using Internet dating sites, you will meet a lot of men and women who may be vulnerable, possibly lacking in self esteem and possibly desperate for a loving, tender relationship. Please read all our tips on safety and protection.
Date rape can happen as a result of someone drugging your drink, this usually takes the form of drugs like, GHB, Rohypnol, and Ketamine. At all times, follow our guidelines regarding safe internet dating.
As relationships progress, you may find yourself in a relationship where consenting sex is going to happen. Date rape can occur when a woman places herself in a vulnerable place like a hotel room, man's home, their own home or somewhere remote.
Often the rape has occurred as a result of the man either misreading the signs or the woman sending out the wrong signals. Sometimes, the woman will have a change of heart at the last moment in which case, no matter how strong the urge, the man should desist.
On occasions, having consented, the woman may scream rape as a result of feelings of shame and guilt or be an Internet predator with the sole intention of blackmailing her victim.
Both men and women should make themselves absolutely clear of their intentions and not place themselves in a situation where rape or accusation of rape can occur.
Having allowed the relationship to develop both men and women should:
- Decide as early as possible during the course of the date if you want to have sex. In the passion of an embrace is not a good to start deciding if it is a good idea as it gives the other person too much power. The earlier you communicate clearly and firmly your feelings about sex, the easier your partner will accept your position.
- Make your sexual limits clear. It is your decision and your body, and no one has the right to force you to do anything you do not want to do. Stopping sexual activity does not infer you are not a real woman or real man.
- Do not send out mixed messages. Be absolutely clear and say "yes" when you mean "yes" and "no" when you mean "no". Do not expect your partner to be able to read subtle hints or read your mind.
- Be aware of subconscious behaviour and unconscious messages you may be sending. Your date may interpret your behaviour as a green light and differently than what you intended. A huge degree of human communication is non-verbal and it is often very easy to send strong non-verbal signs of willingness to enter into a sexual relationship. Be aware of the signals you send with your tone of voice, clothing, posture, gestures, and eye contact.
- Do not worry about being impolite if you are in an uncomfortable situation. Be forceful and firm. Politeness or passive behaviour can easily be misinterpreted as consent. Use phrases such as: "Stop it! This is horrible!" or "That's enough! I am leaving or Get out!"
- If your partner is genuine and sincere they will respect your wishes and not try to force or coerce you into something you do not wish to do.
- Alcohol is often related to date rape. Alcohol impairs your ability to make responsible decisions. Be responsible and remain in a state so that you can get yourself home. The same applies to social drugs, so never over indulge with someone you do not know really well.
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