November 2004
Inspiration on careers, networking, writing and more

In this issue:
Editorial: What are you missing out on?
News You Can Use: Books: Internet Dating, Bilingual Kids, Robin Pascoe in
London and Professional Speakers’ conference
Your feedback: Quality rather than quantity this month
What’s on: End 2004 NB – last chance to pay lower prices

What are you missing out on?
I’m such a hypocrite. If someone wanted to talk to me about whether I thought they should buy that new (but expensive) suit that looked fabulous on them, take a day off and go paintballing or take a (scary but exciting) opportunity at work, I’d say ‘go for it! You know you’ll regret it if you don’t.’

But when the boot is on the other foot it’s not so easy. Not so easy to take my own advice.

Take a day off and go paintballing, moi? Somehow the draw of the office and making money rather than spending it, wins the contest.

Buy a new suit? Well, I’d never indulge myself on quite such a whim. But I would regret not buying it later, I know. I’d go back to the shop and find they had sold out of my size. When the boot’s on the other foot I’d use that boot to kick myself.

And now we have the chance to move overseas again. To the Netherlands. I know we have a teenager and a nearly teen who do not want to leave their friends. I know I have parents close by who will miss us desperately. I know that I am going to have to rehouse the gerbils, get a passport for the cat, sell the car and tackle a mountain of ghastly paperwork. I know I’m rubbish at administration and that without the backing of a company to help with the move physically or financially, it would be so much easier to stay put. But this time I have followed my own advice. I just had to be objective about it.

My husband has been working away from home for seven years, as some of you know. If someone else had told me that they were in a similar situation I’d feel sorry for them. I’d give them all my support to find a way to be together at all costs. But when it was me in that situation, I just coped. It was easier to put up with the loneliness than to face that mountain of relocation paperwork and make some decisions. And that’s the way we stayed.

And then my neighbour got cancer. And I watched her get sicker and sicker and then die in the space of six months. This was my wake up call. Life is too damn short. Pinning your hopes on the future as the solution to your problems, is more risky than the stock market.

My friend Jane has been living in a caravan for six months while her house is built. When she heard that the build was running over by an extra week, she could not bear it. ‘I have been living in the future for six months, I do not want to have to to it any more,’ she said. Well, we’ve been living in the future for seven years.

Life is too short to miss out on that perfect once-in-a-lifetime suit, the chance of a day of spontaneous fun with friends, too short to miss out on a challenge and too short to let our children grow up without a father to help with homework. So, just over a month ago, we decided to move. My husband may only have his job in The Netherlands for another year. And it is going to cost us a fortune to relocate when we have no help from a company and no expatriate package. But life is too, too short to worry about things like that.

So often we choose not to do something because of fear. Buying that suit would frighten me that I might not be able to afford it. Going paintballing would frighten me that I might be terrible at it and people might laugh at my ineptitude, not to mention the money I would spend on an impulsive indulgence. Making a move to follow my husband, filled me with fear too. Fear that the kids might be unhappy, that I might be lonely, that my husband might spend too much time in the office, that we might end up in a house we don’t like or can’t afford. The list is endless. But when I think of my neighbour, Margaret, I realise that the fear of what might happen if I didn’t go for the tough option, go through the pain and the paperwork, is far worse. What if my kids leave home having never had a father to help with their science homework? What if the kids’ residing memory of their childhood is Dad never being there (which right now, is what they think – I know because they were recently asked about it by a journalist)?

Which is worse? The fear of doing something? Or the fear of what might happen if you don’t do it?

News you can use
October was quite a month. Not only did my own book ‘Find Your Passion’ come out but I am delighted to let you know that my client, Christina Bachini’s was launched yesterday, on Halloween! Christina recently found love online and is over 50. her book ‘Click on Love’ is just what you need if you know that you should try Internet dating but are not sure where to start. With a foreword by Flirt Coach, Peta Heskell, this is a hugely useful book that you need to buy for all your lonely friends. It really will empower them to find love. Go to http://www.clickonlove.co.uk

And while I’m here I’d like to tell you about some other great books I have just come across. ‘Spikey Mikey’ is a bilingual (French/English) children’s story book, written and illustrated by Lisa Cirieco, who lives in Switzerland, it is a must read for expat kids who are under about 8 years old. Find out more from http://www.knowitall.ch, Lisa’s website for her other fantastic book ‘Know it All Parents’, which came out in second edition last month.

Only last month Carol Bentley offered you all a great free tips book on writing sales letters. This month she has put together another useful PDF called ’28 Tips for Writers who use Word’. So if you are a writer and really wish you could get to grips with Word and its quirks, this may be for you. If you would like one just drop an email to the ever-generous Carol at carol@pybiz.co.uk.

And for those of you who love Robin Pascoe as much as I do, and you live in the London area, I am delighted to tell you that she is around next week from 8th November. She will be speaking at the American Women’s Club in Leatherhead among others. So check out her website for more information at http://www.expatexpert.com

And finally, if you fancy yourself with a career as a speaker, don’t miss the Professional Speakers’ Association conference in Chesham, Bucks. It runs on 12th and 13th November and I will definitely be there and even have an exhibition stand. Find out more on www.professionalspeakers.org.

Your feedback
Hi Jo
Wow – congratulations on your move to The Netherlands … hoorah for you!
If you ever want help promoting the workshops for London, do let me know, as I have a large database of likely persons through 2 of my businesses (The Happiness Centre & Fresh Success)…. I am always happy to support the work of capable people!
I know Arvind Devalia, which is how I began receiving your newsletter in the first place … Word of mouth tells me you’re brilliant, and I just wanted to let you know your insights and energy are appreciated (and read) regularly.
Stay shining,
Alexis Garnaut-Miller
Fresh Success
The European Institute of NLP
The Happiness Centre

What’s on until the end of the year
PLEASE NOTE THAT FROM 2005 ALL COURSES IN THE UK WILL NOT ONLY BE MORE SELDOM BUT WILL COST NO LESS THAN £100

NOVEMBER
Saturday 6th November SPECIAL OFFER – BRING A FRIEND HALF PRICE
Find Your Passion
Barnsdale Hall Hotel, near Oakham, Rutland
A workshop with Jo Parfitt and Jacinta Noonan (over from The Netherlands who runs www.bigontheinside.com that will show you how to find your passion and make the break to turn your dreams into reality.
10.00 – 14.00
Cost: £65 – includes lunch and notes
Embrace magazine readers will receive a free book called Find Your Passion by Jo Parfitt or My Perfect Weight by Jacinta Noonan
Book on: info@summertimepublishing.com

Tuesday 23rd November
Release the Book Within
Collyweston, Stamford, Lincs
Learn how to plan and write books and get them published too.
9.30 – 3.30
£80 – includes lunch and notes
Book on:info@summertimepublishing.com

DECEMBER
Wednesday 1st December
Definite Articles
Islington, London
Find out how to write and sell articles about what you know already.
9.30 – 3.30
£95 including lunch and notes (previous students pay £80)
Book on: suewarner@speakingout.co.uk

Wednesday 8th December ONLY TWO PLACES LEFT
Collyweston, Stamford, Lincs
Release the Book Within
Learn how to plan and write books and get them published too.
9.30 – 3.30
£80 – includes lunch and notes
Book on: info@summertimepublishing.com

Tuesday 14th December
Definite Articles
Collyweston, Stamford, Lincs
Find out how to write and sell articles about what you know already.
9.30 – 3.30
£80 – includes lunch and notes
Book on: info@summertimepublishing.com