January 2005
Inspiration on careers, networking, writing and more

In this issue:
Editorial: Dutch courage
News You Can Use: New magazines, new books, new websites.
Your feedback: You loved last month’s Inspirer
What’s on: I hit the ground running in 2005

“Where words speak louder than actions”

Dutch Courage
Well, here I am! We moved. Yesterday I even queued up to get my Dutch social security number, so I am now, officially, a resident of The Netherlands. And it feels good. But very scary.

So scary that it took me a month (yes we arrived here a month ago exactly) to summon up the courage to write honestly about my experiences in the Monthly Inspirer. Actually, it took me two weeks to get a phone line, but that’s another story. But now that I have finally unpacked my walking boots and found my feet, I feel more than ready to write.

Dutch courage is the perfect metaphor for what is happening to me now. And though the phrase officially refers to how we have an alcoholic drink in order to be braver than we would normally feel, and I have discovered that wine is much cheaper here than in England, this is not about boozing. It is about being a brave ‘newbie’ in The Netherlands.

I am frightened and vulnerable. Out of my depth. A fish out of water. There, I’ve admitted it. I may have lived abroad before for ten years and mastered living in the roasting Middle East and frozen Norway. I may have become an expert in the expatriate experience and made a career out of writing and speaking about it. I may have edited magazines on living abroad, advised would-be expats how to prepare for the move and been a keynote speaker at international HR conferences. But now the boot is on MY foot it is a different story. Now I have to walk my talk.

And walk is what I have done best of all.

Two days after we arrived I had an appointment at the boys’ new school to buy their new school uniform. Their school is next door to our house. I could walk there. That was safe. So we arrived at the reception desk feeling pleased with ourselves.

‘Oh no!’ said Mrs S Harris on reception. ‘It’s not at this site. You’ll need to drive there. Didn’t anyone tell you?’

I froze. My face drained of colour. My jaw dropped. There was no way I was brave enough to drive for the first time here and navigate myself to a strange place several miles away. Mrs S Harris suggested we took a bus or a train, or a couple of trams. But that was too daunting too. Only a taxi would do. Sam and Josh were appalled to watch their ‘survivor’ mother crumble helplessly before their eyes.

The taxi cost a fortune, but was worth it. Coming back was easier. Though I was still too scared to catch a bus or a tram, by then I felt I could handle a 20 minute walk to the nearest station and brave buying three tickets from a machine.

The kids went to school the next day and I was alone for the first time. My life was now a blank sheet of paper. With no phone line and no Dutch mobile phone I only had myself to please. I was surprised to find myself walking everywhere. To the shops and back mostly. Every day I would dare to try another route. Every day I would widen the radius from home a little. I shopped in the supermarket so that I did not have to talk to anyone. After a week I dared do the same thing by bicycle and then, last week I achieved the ultimate. I drove to town, parked and dared to buy something from a market stall.

What I am trying to show here is that new things can be terrifying. Contemplating doing something new for the first time can paralyse you with fear. Even the smallest thing, like driving on a strange road, can appear insurmountable. But then you take it one step at a time and, as each task becomes familiar, you can take the next step and the next and expand your comfort zone little by little. Then, one day, much sooner than you think, you realise you have done it. I had only bought two duck breasts from a market and allowed myself to make a quacking sound in order to check what I was buying, but I did it. I achieved something that three weeks earlier, when faced with a trip to the uniform shop five miles away, was beyond me.

It is the start of the year and I expect you have set yourself some goals. If they seem too big right now, perhaps you should just promise yourself that you will take the first, tiny step and start walking towards your goal today.

Remember, you can’t run before you can walk.

Believe in Blue Sky
Jo Parfitt

PS if you are serious about achieving your goals and having the life you dreamed of then you must look at Steve Head’s new book ‘How to Avoid Near Life Experience’. It is really terrific, so terrific that astute reviewers like Marie Mosely say ‘I think it’s marvellous’. Email him directly on mailto:stephen@headstart-uk.com if you want to order a copy.

News you can use

A brand new website for expats is due to launch any moment. Called http://www.expatriatehelp.com it promises to be the perfect portal to all things expatriate. I have just been to the site and it is not there quite yet – so this is one to watch.

And there are two brand new magazines to look out for if you are based in the UK and long to be overseas. Trip magazine is aimed at 25-35 year olds who want great holidays and Living Abroad is aimed at Brits who want to start a new life overseas. Both come from Edinburgh based The Media Company, who have already seen success with other titles including Spain and Edinburgh Festivals. Trip will be on sale from February and Living Abroad from March. With circulations of 60,000 they should be everywhere, but I know they will be in WH Smith. I am writing for both of them. So if you have gone to live abroad or are in the throes of doing so, please talk to me. If you are a writer hungry for a new market I can connect you. And if you have anything to share of interest to that market, please get in touch! I, for one, am very excited!

And if you want to settle abroad or simply buy a new house abroad, I must tell you about a fab new series called Brit’s Scrapbook. The first title is now available as an ebook from www.bookshaker.com and is a funny, practical, readable account of how single mum, Jo Losack, bought a house in Bulgaria. Property prices are skyrocketing so this is a market to watch. If you think you could write one of these books yourself then you have even more reason to go to Bookshaker and see what they are up to. They have some of the most exciting titles around and are hungry for new talent.

A site that will interest the writers among you include www.writequickly.com, which promises to help you write any book in 28 days. Writers may also like to look at www.wordsmag.com/compcal.htm to find out about the magazine’s short story competitions for 2005.

And if you are interested in getting a new job, or helping others to do so you might like to look at http://www.resume-writing.info

Your feedbac

Hi Jo,
Fab email.
I am a firm believer in the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. We are, none of us, truly alive until we step outside our 'perceived limits'. This 'alive' feeling is truly exhilarating when done with belief and commitment and is NEVER to be scoffed at by the system stalwarts among us.

When my son was little he said to me "Mummy, one day can I be an astronaught and fly to the moon?" Guess what my response was?

"Sure, why not and if you're really clever you won't need a spaceship!" Since then I have moved on to teach higher awareness through visualisation and meditation and my son has developed an innate sense of awareness and instinctive belief in himself and the world around him.

Look beyond the structure of this world and you will see what is really going on!!

Kind regards,
Chrissy Sawyer
MONEYPENNYS
www.moneypennys.net
0845 88 007 88

What’s on 2005

As I choose what to put on the ‘blank piece of paper’ of my new life in Holland, I have decided to teach in the Netherlands only until June. Watch this space to see when I am further afield.

Mon 7th February
WRITE YOURSELF FREE
7.00 pm
Connecting Women, Den Haag
See how putting pen to paper can solve your problems and fill you with inspiration.
€9 for non-members, members free

Wed 2nd and Wed 9th March
DEFINITE ARTICLES
9.00 – 12.00
Voorschoten, Den Haag
Learn how to write and sell articles about what you know already and use them to promote your business and/or make money!
€150 – includes > 100 pages of notes

Fri 11th March
FIND YOUR PASSION
Expat Beurs, Utrecht
Led by Jacinta Noonan and myself
Join us on the morning of the Expat Fair for a FREE one hour workshop.

Tue 15th March
FIND YOUR PASSION
Led by Jacinta Noonan and myself
9.00 – 15.00
Voorschoten/Den Haag
Enjoy an inner journey of discovery and find out what you really want to do with your life and work.
€80 – please bring a packed lunch

Sat 9th April
WRITE FOR YOU
In association with Den Haag Amateur Dramatic Gro
10.00 - 16.00
Warehouse, Leidschendam
Find your writer’s voice and start writing the things you were born to create today.
€40 members, €50 non-members

Wed 4th & Wed 11th May
RELEASE THE BOOK WITHIN
9.00 – 12.00
Voorschoten, Den Haag
Learn how to plan and write non-fiction books and get them published too.
€150 – includes > 100 pages of notes

FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO BOOK PLEASE EMAIL ME ON jo@summertimepublishing.com or call me on +31 (0)71 561 6857