April 2004

In this issue:
Editorial: Fixing family feuds
Job opportunity for writers: Global Connection
Let me introduce you to: Philip Allen
Your feedback: From France, Germany, Sardinia and England
What’s new: Paguro, Focus, help for writers
My new speakers’ course: Make Money at the Back of the Room
What’s on: April, May and June

“Where words speak louder than actions”

Fixing family feuds
How do you get on with your mother-in-law? Do you find yourself frustrated and biting your tongue when your family comes for Christmas? Do you think your child is being bullied at school?

Few of us can honestly say that we have perfect relationships with everyone in our families. When I lived abroad I found it much easier to get on with my relatives. Any old issues I may have had about my own parents or my in-laws could be ignored during the fortnight or two that they would come to visit.

But once we repatriated it was time to ‘get real’ and start getting on with everyone, properly this time and for the long haul. Any issues I may have had with my husband too could no longer be smoothed over by an expatriate salary, sunshine and a maid.

I did it my way. I read all the books. Men are From Mars, all of the Dr Phil Life Matters books and the one about women not being able to read maps by Allan and Barbara Pease (not true in my case I hasten to add). I started to watch Oprah and even went in for a spot of counselling. I emerged feeling much better about myself, but no less irritated by my mother-in-law. Now I’d ‘fixed’ me, I wanted to ‘fix’ everyone else. And then I met Nancy Slessenger.

Nancy is a communications expert and I have mentioned her in earlier Inspirers. Last summer I helped her to complete her book Understanding Misunderstandings which is all about how to communicate effectively with your colleagues. And while I was learning about bully bosses, insensitive secretaries and employees who would burst into tears at nothing, I learned how to handle my mother-in-law.

Anyone who has been down the personal development road, as I have, will know that it is not possible to change ‘problem people’. We just have to change our attitude to them. ‘Fixing’ other people was impossible.

You see, thanks to Nancy,I learned that my mother-in-law is a pessimist. Negative people do not respond to constant jollying along. They much prefer it when everything is looking bleak. So, if you want a negative person to help you out on a committee, say, it is no good suggesting that the job will really boost their CV and that he or she will be fabulous at it. No. You have to tell a negative person that you simply can’t find anyone else, that you have a real problem on your hands and that you realise it will be a big commitment, but all the same, you’d like them to consider it.

This is just one example of what Nancy’s wisdom has done for me. I have learned how to handle my mother-in-law. So now, when I anticipate a whinge coming on, I get in there first and get the negative comment over and done with. She agrees and we move on swiftly.

Response to Understanding Misunderstandings has been so good that Nancy has been persuaded to write another book, focusing this time on families. With the working title Old Boots and Battleaxes Nancy is kicking off by conducting a survey into typical relationship problems. If you would like a copy of the survey please email her assistant Charlie Foster at mailto:charlie@vinehouse.co.uk <mailto:charlie@vinehouse.co.uk> .

Nancy will then select 20 people who have the most interesting relationship problems and give them free coaching worth £250 to solve the problem. Each case study will then be used in the book, with names changed of course! What’s more everyone who returns a survey will receive a free ebook of the completed book when it is out later this year.

So, if you want to learn how to ‘fix’ the way you handle your relationships, email Charlie for Nancy’s survey now and do yourself a big favour.

Jo Parfitt
Believe in blue sky

Job opportunity for writers
I have just been given the job of editing the next issue of a brand new magazine for expatriate partners. Called Global Connection, it comes from Jan-Jaap Verolme, the publisher of the Dutch ExpatPlus magazine. Initially being sold on a subscription only basis to corporates for their partners the magazine is similar in some ways to Woman Abroad, which I edited until January 2002.

As editor, I need writers and I need photographs. All contributors must be the partners of expatriate employees. So far, subscriptions have been bought by companies such as Heineken and ING Bank and members are based all over the world. One of the beauties of the publication is that it has an accompanying website with a searchable database, which will allow all members to communicate with each other. Global Co-ordinators are being hired to input local information about their expatriate location too.

If you would like to contribute to the magazine please email me at mailto:summertime@lineone.net <mailto:summertime@lineone.net> .

If you would like to see the website – and persuade your HR department to subscribe for you – please go to www.global-connection.info <http://www.global-connection.info/> .

Let me introduce you to
I first met Philip Allen a year ago when I did some editing work for his wife, Dee’s book called How to Get the Law Job You Want. When I discovered that he was an expert in helping speakers to get bookings and make money, I vowed to get to know him better. Phil has hooked up with Paula Gardner and John Sealey, another of my friends, who has been mentioned in previous Inspirers and together they are running a number of seminars aimed at helping speakers do more business.

Forthcoming Seminars For You To Attend That Will Help Grow Your Business

“Seminars on Seminars – How to Market Your Services, Your Information for Profit Through Seminars and Speeches” Saturday 24th April Birmingham & Tuesday 27th April London. Creating, promoting your own seminars can make you a lot of money if you know what you are doing. This seminar will show you how to make your seminar a success. For further details and to book your place on this seminar please call John Sealey on Tel: 0870 7200 665. Your investment for this seminar is £297.00 plus VAT

Want to Attract More Business With Less Effort? Be Read, Be Seen and Be Heard. The Five Steps to Building a High Business Profile Getting People Talking about You, Your Business, or Your Product. Saturday 8th May London. For further details and to book your place on this seminar please call Paula Gardner on Tel: 07941 244 343. Your investment for this seminar is £197.00 plus VAT

“How to Become a Rainmaker - The Rules for Getting and Keeping Customers and Clients” A no holds barred seminar that gives you Powerful Techniques for the Successful Consultant and Service Provider. Saturday 22nd May London & Saturday 29th May Birmingham. For further details and to book your place on this seminar please call John Sealey on Tel: 0870 7200 665. Your investment for this seminar is £297.00 plus VAT

“How to Create Info Products that Sell, Create Residual Income and Position You As An Expert” Sat 12th June Birmingham and Sat 19th June London. This seminar is for authors, speakers, coaches or consultants who want to double or triple their incomes in the next 18 Months. Learn a comprehensive system to start and build a successful speaking/consultant/ publishing business regardless of the field you're in. For further details and to book your place on this seminar please call John Sealey on Tel: 0870 7200 665.Your investment for this seminar is £297.00 plus VAT

To receive Philip's ezine "Marketing Tips for Novice and Professional Speakers Who Want to Make Money", just email mailto:phil@philsmt.co.uk inserting in the subject box "I want to make money as a professional speaker, Philip!"

Your feedback

Hi Jo,
If you want something you have to believe you have a chance,

So true what you say. I know a personal counsellor who once told me that you cannot achieve something if you cannot imagine yourself in the situation you want to achieve. I can only confirm that through my own experiences.
Finn Skovgaard, France

Dear Jo
Another nice newsletter! Thank you for the inspiration and the ideas which you give me in all your Newsletters. I am really inspired! The March Monthly Inspirer showed me to believe in yourself and you can reach your goals.
Best regards,
Linda Gross, Hamburg

Hi Jo
Hope you are well. A dreamboard. What a great idea! I got my boyfriend making one at the kitchen table this morning in his suit and tie before going to work.
Emma Bird, Sardinia

What a brilliantly inspirational piece, Jo.
It brought tears to my eyes as I am only too aware of my lack of faith in Becky's ability to get on her Contour Fashion course next year. Lack of self-discipline and confidence are her primary obstacles - there is no shortage of talent.
Jane Minshall, England

What’s New

Do take a look at the Paguro website (it means hermit crab), which was launched in February as the family friendly portal for expatriates. Run by a large group of motivated and dedicated Schlumberger spouses, this promises to be the first website that provides all the local information and support you could want. What’s more, it is constantly updated in real time. Take a look at http://www.paguro.net <http://www.paguro.net/> . For now membership is free.

And Focus Career Services in London have a new range of courses and workshops on offer, that are frighteningly affordable or absolutely FREE.

The Open Forum: Real Time Q & A Workshop, Tuesday, 20 April
Marion Couffon, Executive Director, FOCUS 18:30-20:00 FREE

Your Return Ticket to Work, Tuesday, 27 April
Speaker: Diana Wolfin, Changing Direction; 10:30 -12:30: £7 for members; £20 non-members

The Open Forum: Real Time Q & A Workshop, Tuesday, 18 May
Speaker: Florence Heliard, Director of Membership and Volunteers, FOCUS; 10:30 – 12:00 FREE

Training and Study Choices, Thursday, 3 June
Speaker: Kate Daubney, Diplomatic Service Families Association, FCO: 10:30 – 12:00; £10

For more information mailto:office@focus-info.org

Help for writers is available at two new websites:
Writelink is packed with useful advice and when you sign up to the newsletter you really feel like you belong. Find it at http://www.writelink.co.uk

And if you are frustrated at having to keep buying the Artists and Writers Yearbook you will be delighted to know that Writers Services gives a list of all agents and publishers – with all their contact details and requirements. Find it at http://www.writersservices.co.uk

New Speakers’ Course – Make Money at the Back of the Room

Frank Furness says that he makes 30% extra income by selling products at the back of the room after his talks. I find that I sell to up to 50% of the audience when I run a workshop too, so there is no doubt that speakers and trainers can benefit from having products to sell. Having a book, or books, gives your reputation an instant lift and helps enormously with your publicity too.

I have written 20 books or so over the years and I know how long it can take – nine months usually from start to finish for a 200 page book. So, I have devised ways to create products quickly, cheaply and effectively. If you think this might be for you then you might like to come on my Make Money at the Back of the Room course on 10thJune. At the course you will start working on a booklet, a workbook and a real full-length book. You will learn about pricing, bundling and printing as well as how you can make self-publishing really pay.

John Sealey, the marketing expert they call the Courageous Marketeer, will be there too to lend his expertise to the day. This full day, from 9.30 – 5.30 includes lunch, extensive notes AND a two hour one to one consultation with me (worth £150), just as soon as you are ready to take your book(s) to the next stage. The fee is £395 for the day, but if you book and pay by 27th May you pay only £295.

‘Jo is a total inspiration to me as an aspiring author. She doesn't just talk the talk but she delivers. She has made a personal art form out of her books and sets the pace for all "jobbing" authors with her lateral thinking,’ Ed Nash of Business Referral Exchange http://www.brenet.co.uk <http://www.brenet.co.uk/> .

What’s On and Where I’ll Be in April, May and June

Wednesday 14th April
Release the Book Within and Definite Articles writing workshops
Dubai
AED 250 for one course AED 400 for both
Shortened versions of both courses, run back to back so you get to do one, or other, or both.

Contact Tricia Evans for more details on mailto:tricia@emirates.net.ae. Or of course you can contact me directly.

Thursday 22nd April
Women in Management
Coventry
6.30 – 9.30 pm
£15 members, £20 non-members

Come and hear me speak on Publish for Profile and Profit. Contact Debbie Jenkins on mailto:debbie@debbiejenkins.com. Or of course you can contact me directly.

Thursday 6th May
American Women’s Club of Amsterdam
Amsterdam
11.15
I will be speaking at their monthly meeting. Please contact Ruth Higgins for more information on mailto:r.higgins@inter.nl.net. Or of course you can contact me directly.

Friday 7th May
Definite Articles
Den Haag, The Netherlands
Full day
€150
Thanks to Jacinta Noonan, my plea for someone to organise this workshop was answered. The workshop will take place in the Treehut. Please liaise with her for further information on mailto:j.noonan@inter.nl.net. Or of course you can contact me directly.

Wednesday 12th May
Release the Book Within
Rye, Sussex
9.30 – 3.30
£80 including lunch and notes
Discover how to unlock that book you have always wanted to write. Find your writer’s voice, find your passion, plan your outline and kick start your muse today. For details and bookings please email Zoe Meyer at mailto:zoesbooks@sagepress.co.uk

Wednesday 19th May
Release the Book Within
Collyweston, nr Stamford, Lincs
9.30 – 3.30
£80 to include notes and lunch.
Come and learn how to turn everything and everyone you know already into articles that sell or give your business publicity.

For details and bookings please contact me at mailto:summertime@lineone.net

Thursday 10th June
Make Money at the Back of the Room
Collyweston, Stamford, Lincs
9.30 – 5.30
£395 including lunch, notes and two hour consultancy (worth £150)

BOOK AND PAY BY 27TH MAY AND PAY JUST £295
Find out how to make real money and raise your profile by publishing books, workbooks and booklets you can sell at the back of the room after your workshops or keynotes. Start work today on booklets, workbooks and real books so that your dreams can become a reality this time.

Wednesday 16th June
Definite Articles
Rye, Sussex
9.30 – 3.30
£80 including lunch and notes
Discover how to write and sell articles about all the things and all the people you know already. mailto:zoesbooks@sagepress.co.uk

Wednesday 30th June
Definite Articles
Collyweston, nr Stamford, Lincs
9.30 – 3.30
£80 to include notes and lunch.
Come and learn how to turn everything and everyone you know already into articles that sell or give your business publicity.

For details and bookings please contact me at summertime@lineone.net

AND THAT’S IT UNTIL SEPTEMBER!!