Are women all the same * sex and love secrets of a happy marriage * are all men are the same

How often have you heard your male friends say? "All women are the same" usually in moments of exasperation or sympathy when trying to explain away the behaviour of a wife or girlfriend. It's actually one of those idiotic throwaway comments that has no basis in truth, but when men get together over a beer to have a moan about their wives, they will all nod their heads in agreement as if it is a cross to bear and discuss the reasons why their wives don't understand them.

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However, there might just be one husband who is sitting their quietly thanking his lucky stars that his wife is not like all the rest but unwilling to comment for fear of appearing smug. More likely, the husbands' who have little reason to complain will not be wasting their time in the pub complaining about their wives' nagging and disinterest in sex because they are at home with her, probably making love rather than sitting around with a load of wasters who would rather be in the pub than at home with the women they are supposed to love.

Obviously women are not all the same. They may have certain similar generic behavioural patterns, they may appear irrational to you at times but the woman who provokes the statement "All women are the same" is the woman you fell in love with and married, cooks for you, is bringing up your children, works an average 14 hours a day 7 days a week, cleaning toilets and washing your dirty underwear, is on call 24 hours a day, probably also does a full or part time job and is hopefully also your mistress and lover.

All women are not the same it is the problems they have with their husbands that tend to be the same.

Men who complain about their wives probably have good reason and they are most likely the very same reasons that whilst these men are crying into their beers down the pub and having a general moan, their wives are sitting around the kitchen table with a few female friends doing exactly the same thing about them.

Relationships are about two people and it is rare that the breakdown of a relationship is solely down to just one of the partners. Speak to any man who is in a really successful marriage and he will almost certainly tell you that his wife is also his best friend, that they share a lot of interests, probably don't have a wide circle of friends, she doesn't nag him because he doesn't give her reason to nag and that their sex lives are good to fantastic no matter what age they are.

So what is it about these relationships that cause some men to get together and moan about their wives?

My wife does nothing but nag me. Have you ever thought of changing or doing the things that she is constantly nagging you about? Nagging is obviously not the solution, but many wives revert to nagging out of the frustration caused by her husband's selfish behaviour. This can be caused by you leaving your clothes strewn all over the house or bedroom. Do you think it is her job to clean up after you? This is the behaviour of low life scum; if you fall into this category, then nothing written here will change you. If on the other hand it is simply because you are lazy and slovenly and you are tired of her nagging - put your clothes away or in the dirty clothes bin. This applies to anything that your wife is constantly nagging you about. Your wife gets no pleasure from nagging and your behaviour is causing her unhappiness and yours as well. Nagging causes arguments that lead to rifts in marriages. Show her some consideration by helping her in this small way.

My wife expects me to help with the housework. If you believe that housework is women's work you are living in the dark ages. If you end up in the divorce courts, you will be doing all your own housework. Don't wait for your wife to ask you for help around the house. Most housewives work incredibly long hours and get tired and often depressed by the mundane life that they lead. Offering to do the washing up whilst she has a bath, though a small deed will speak volumes for the fact that you care about her. Most successful marriages will often have spouses standing at the kitchen sink, sharing a joke and talking about their day. Successful marriages are not spent in separate rooms, whilst the wife does the washing up in the kitchen and the husband lounges on the sofa. Unsuccessful marriages always end up in separate bedrooms.

My wife moans about me going down the pub. No one would deny any married man the right to have outside interests. However, if you stop off every night at the pub before going home or go down the pub most nights after dinner unless there is something you want to watch on television, questions have to be asked. Do you have a drink problem? If not what are you trying to escape from at home? What is it that you find down the pub that you can't find at home. Men who are really happily married can't wait to get home of an evening. Happily married men want to spend their evenings with the woman they love and if they enjoy a drink, they normally have one at home with their wives or go out together for a social drink. Men who are in successful relationships don't crave the company of other people. If you are trying to escape the nagging, or are unhappy at home, you have to look at the causes and solutions.

My wife has put on a lot of weight. As we get older, most of us gain weight because we slow down and have less energy. Just because your wife has put on weight should not make an iota of difference to how much you love her. Take a long hard look at yourself. Pregnancy can take its toll on a woman's body, it is a price well worth paying by both spouses. However, the biggest cause of obesity in the UK is diet. If your family is eating a lot of junk food, the chances are you and your children will all have weight problems. Keeping slim and fit leads to far healthier lives and better sex. What more of an incentive could you wish for. Your wife may be serving up junk food because she believes she doesn't have the time to prepare a real meal. There are two easy solutions to this problem that can be provided by you. The first is to go shopping with your wife and choose healthy fresh ingredients together. The second is to help her by doing some of the cooking yourself. Men are notoriously better cooks than women, they tend to be more imaginative and prepared to experiment. No good saying you can't cook, even the thickest moron can follow a recipe from a cook book. Several things will happen here. You will be spending more time together, your fitness and health will improve, you will all lose weight, your skins will improve, your wife will be most appreciative, you will almost certainly enjoy cooking and be praised for your culinary expertise, your wife will feel better about herself, she will have more time and be less tired and your sex life will improve.

My wife has no interest in sex. This tends to be the biggest complaint most men make about their wives. Men tend to have higher sex drives than women. Men can get an erection for no apparent reason whilst most women, all though they will feel sexy at times often need to be stimulated. Most men are quite happy to have sex and whilst this will also be true of most women from time to time, depending on their mood, many women also want and need to have their husbands make love to them. Just because you are married does not mean that you have sex on tap. Most women don't want to be seen or used as a sex object all the time, they need to know your care about them, they need to feel loved, they need to feel good about themselves and this responsibility is the task of the husband. If you want to rekindle your love life or keep it going throughout your marriage you have to work at it in the same way as you worked at it before you got married. You have to know how to make your wife happy. Making your wife happy can include simple things like helping out around the house and not giving her reason to nag you. It can be the art of seduction and this can start with a phone call during the day telling her you love her. It can be taking the trouble to cook her a romantic evening meal or just going for a walk together. Moments of tenderness, a cuddle that does not necessarily lead to sex or running her a bath whilst you put the children to bed. It is very easy to say I love you, showing her how much you love her takes a small but well rewarded effort. You should not let a day go by without showing her how much you love her if you want to keep your wife happy.

If you want a great sex life, look at any happily married couple. These people have maintained a healthy and exciting sex life from well before the day of the wedding by not losing sight of the reasons they got married in the first place.