Are men all the same * sex and love secrets * how to keep a wife happy * are men all the same

How often have you heard your female friends say? "All men are the same" usually in moments of exasperation or by way of condolence when trying to explain away the behaviour of a husband or boyfriend. It's actually one of those stupid comments that has no basis in truth, but when women get together to have a moan about their husbands, they will all nod their heads in agreement as if it is a cross to bear and discuss their husbands habits and lack of consideration in great depth.

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However, there might just be one wife who is sitting their quietly thanking her lucky stars that her husband is not like all the rest but unwilling to comment for fear of appearing smug. More likely, the wives who have little reason to complain will not be wasting their time prattling on about how badly behaved their husbands are because they are at home with him rather than listening to a load of miserable women complaining about their lot.

The reality is that men are not all the same, they are as diverse as the stars in the sky and most are twice as priceless. These are the men that go out to work everyday and rush home to be with their wives and children. They are the men that help with the household chores, help put the children to bed, take their wives on endless shopping trips with little complaint, don't spend their time down the pub and rarely go off at weekends following their manly pursuits.

Women who complain about their husbands probably have good reason and they are probably the very same reasons that whilst these women are together having a moan, their husbands are down the pub doing exactly the same thing about them.

Relationships are about two people and it is rare that the breakdown of a relationship is solely down to just one of the partners. Speak to any woman who is in a really successful marriage and she will almost certainly tell you that her husband is her best friend, that they share a lot of interests, probably don't have a wide circle of friends, he doesn't give her reason to nag him and that their sex lives are fairly healthy no matter what age they are.

So what is it about these relationships that cause some women to get together and moan about their husbands?

Does he leave his dirty clothes all over the place? Do you pick them up and then moan at him? The probable reason for him leaving his clothes everywhere is because you pick them up and your moaning is just part and parcel of his perceived misery. The solution is not to pick them and stop moaning. Wait till he runs out of clean clothes and then tell him to pick them up and wash them. It might take a few weeks but he will run out of underwear eventually. You can speed the process up by putting some of his clean underwear in the clothes basket. You may need to do this a few times until he is prepared to reach a compromise. He puts his dirty clothes away and you continue to do the washing. No more moaning and a step forward towards a happier relationship.

He doesn't do anything to help around the house. You may have a male chauvinist pig on your hands, it might be that he is just bone idle or that he feels he is already doing enough. Most full time housewives will be on duty for 14 hours a day but this doesn't mean that they are working for 14 hours. The husband may leave for work at 8.00 am and return at 7.00 pm and been physically and mentally active for most of the day. He will be tired yet still have household duties like cutting the grass, DIY, washing the car and want to spend some time with the children. If the spouse is also in gainful employment, even if it is part time, it is not unreasonable to expect help with the household chores. If she is a full time housewife, then expecting her husband to come home and take over is unreasonable. However, there are certain chores that most considerate husbands would expect to help with having arrived home and at weekends. Nagging is never the solution, nor is doing the chores begrudgingly because both lead to rifts in the relationship. Benefits and rewards and setting out the game plan before circumstances deteriorate to a point where it becomes a major problem. Saying something like "Can you do the dishwasher while I put the children to bed and then we can spend some time together?" Will be far more productive than saying "I suppose it's down to me to clear up as usual."

He is always down the pub or out with his friends. He either has a drink problem in which case only Alcoholics Anonymous can help or he is escaping from you, your nagging and anything else he is unhappy about. If he wanted to spend all his time with you before you got married what has changed? The sex probably and most likely the lack of it. Sex is not a chore that has to be dealt with like the washing up. Sex is the best entertainment on the planet and if you are both prepared to make the effort, your sex life will become effortless and exciting. Sex is the best way to keep your husband happy. If you have a healthy sex life, he will by pass the pub on the way home and sod his mates.

He no longer takes any care about his appearance and is putting on weight. When this happens it is often because the man believes there is no reason to keep himself looking attractive. Contentment is one reason; another is because he believes his wife no longer has an interest in how he looks. She is no longer the lustful sex kitten he married. He can't remember the last time she instigated any sex and whenever he makes any sexual approaches, she is either too tired, has a headache, just done her makeup or hair or hasn't got the time because the washing up needs doing. What's the point in keeping in shape when your own wife doesn't find you attractive or desirable. The weight gain is almost always the beer because he is escaping down the pub and the junk food he is given because his wife can't be bothered to cook a decent meal. Married men become fat slobs because their wives let them and provide the fodder both mentally and physically. If you want your man to remain attractive, give him good reason, give him good reasons to stay at home and out of the pub and feed him correctly.

All he ever thinks about is sex. Most happily married women are over the moon that their husbands still find them attractive and desirable. Sex is not a sin nor a chore, great sex is the basis on which all successful relationships are built. Men cannot help thinking of sex or getting an erection, it is part of their physical and mental makeup. It should also be part of yours. Remember what is was like before you got married? Did you think it would go away afterwards? Marriages break up because the husband is unfaithful because his wife doesn't find him desirable, doesn't fulfil him sexually or has little or no interest in sex. You see these women advertising on singles dating websites and almost all of them state that they are looking for "a man who is honest and trustworthy." Why? Because there last husband found a women who was interested in him physically, made him feel attractive, aroused and excited him and made him feel loved. These divorced and separated women are bitter because they feel they gave up the best years of their lives for their unfaithful husbands, kept a nice clean house, had his children and had his dinner waiting on the table when he got home. What they don't understand is; having his children didn't need to be the end of their sex lives, the best years of their lives were still to come and that it would have been nice to come home to a dirty house but with his wife waiting on the table. Sex is not the same as love but a man feels most loved and wanted when he is in the arms of his wife, especially when she instigated the sex.

Men are not all the same. Some men don't like beer, going down the pub or watching football. Some men enjoy going to the pub with their wives for a social drink and some wives enjoy going to a football match with their husbands. Successful marriages are about sharing interests, doing things together, showing care and consideration, having personal outside interests and longing to get home when you are apart. Successful marriages are about giving your partner good reason to want to be at home and each others company.

How you address the problems that may occur in your marriage will depend on you because all men are not the same. Just remember that your husband chose you out of billions of women because of who you are. But are women all the same?